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before i kick off today's post..... ................

Rape Derek♥♥




Monday, October 09, 2006
@ 3:44 PM

so, demanding eh?
well, then i think i'll just shut up bloody mouth up 'cause i dont wish ppl to hate me.
you satisfied now?

i hide my fears inside,
i keep my tears hidden.
but how many of you wld bother to notice how much pain im in?

i do love all my friends,
i appreciate things that they do for me,
lending a helping hand,
a listening ear,
but at the moment i just wanna be by myself,
i dont want the people arnd me to hate me,
im not exactly going through the best time of my life.

i've lost something months ago,
although i know i will nv get it back,
i'm still living in those memories i cant forget,
no matter how much you ppl console me,
i just cant let go.

thank you to all my friends who's been there all the time.
i know i've been wrong, i need some time.
i need time to let go of those memories,
i want to stop myself from crying every night,
i want to stop myself from thinking about the past
but somehow time isnt willing to help me let go.

its alrdy been 4 1/2 months ago,
thrs just too much time cannot erase.
i prayed to god,
ask him to help me let go of those memories,
but it doesnt seem to be working.

i like to hear people out,
i like to give them advice,
but sometimes i just have no advices to give them.
thats when i feel that im worthless, i cant even help my friend.

the advices i give to my friends somehow dont work on me,
and i've heard somewhere before that i needed to get someone else's advices,
or rather, a different point of view.

i've alrdy tried that,
i've alrdy talked to eleanor,
but it didnt help much.

its just too painful,
sorry wynne for making you feel hurt.